I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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