i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
