I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
