so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i think my mom watched the whole time
You smell like stripper and shame
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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