Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
