I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
