We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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