Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I deserve this hangover.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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