I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
