So drunk, too bad you don't want this
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
