drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
