Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Did I show you my penis last night?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
