Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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