I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
