U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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