i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Banned from zoo.
Again?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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