My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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