We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
