My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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