I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
