flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
