R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
