that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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