but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
