my mouth tastes like poor choices
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
