It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
