just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is an equal opportunity slut.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
