Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
