Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
If i come over, it means nothing
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
