Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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