i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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