Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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