I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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