Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
