just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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