My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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