so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
