Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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