If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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