question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
