I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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