How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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