its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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