Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
