Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
