glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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