Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
