wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
