"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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