I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
wow bdsm is so cute
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