party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize