I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
