Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
