Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
