your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
