let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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