Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
