I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
