dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
