Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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